Shackled by unsubstantiated

fear.

Free limbs in the round,

with full capacity to move

about and away.

Fear substantiated by fear

of isolation and estrangement, or worse,

of inevitable entanglement.

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I don’t like this. This is the way I prefer it because I’m afraid of anything else. I stay the same because I hate change more than I hate this. 2 pairs of lips in one day. CRAZY. I love it because I thrive in shadows. Grey areas are where I feel most comfortable. Because I can always back out. Even though I don’t want to right now, I know I will want it in the future. Self-fulfilling prophecy? Or just stupid. I’m pretty sure you’ll never get somewhere extraordinary with a safety net. I’m self-netted, no need for a life line. I refuse to deserve or demand love.

IM BACKKKKK

sour endings

bad impressions

severed ties

Why Does Life Have to be so Up and Down? I go through weeks of really high times and then everything crashes at once and it feels like good things never even happened. It isn’t just that some bad things are happening, I feel like Good things transformed into bad, so much that I can’t recall the good there was. Fuck. I hate this.

Most of my grief comes from my own insecurities. How do I still not Know Myself?