reveling

I’m still super happy about this year. I love it so far. So much more than I have loved in the recent past.

I actually like school. I feel satisfied and content and happy. I’m trying not to bitch about work because I’ve realized that there will always be people busier than me and less busy and bitching doesn’t really change anything or get anything done. It bothers me the most when we get into the stupid who has more work debate. We all have a lot of stuff to do.

For the first time in SO long, I have minor personal drama (as opposed to none at all…I’m trying to say that I’ve had no sparks for a while OK?). In a way it’s laughable because I feel like it’s the same story every time. In a way it’s comforting because it’s a topic of conversation. It’s fun to have something to debate, to complain about, to distract myself from the massive amounts of work I have (oops). Not trying to say that I’m just fucking around with people. I’m more cautious than I used to be. I feel cold hearted in a way, but I feel like distancing is healthier for me and the other person than dragging this along and waiting for something to explode.

On a different note, I have been through this same issue so many times yet it still astounds me every time I have to make sacrifices. Wow, I can’t do everything that I want to do? THere isn’t enough time for me to do 5 clubs and take 6 classes? Even if I work my butt off I can’t always follow a schedule? I’m learning to step back and assess my limits. I’m learning to challenge myself and to push myself. I’m learning to force myself to find some redeeming attributes to mundane obligations (ORGO).

Sometimes, things go well for extended periods of time. Sometimes, all the people around you are supportive and nice and understanding and friendly and accepting and encouraging and all the positives. Does this make me volatile? One of the reasons I’m so happy is that I am getting positive attention from a good number of people. Sometimes, things feel perfect but not too comfortable that you’re scared and unprepared for change.

I drink way too much coffee. I enjoy espresso too much. I don’t get enough sleep. I don’t eat enough. I spend too much time on social media. I spend too much time talking to people. I think I’m happy though

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