I’m so happy

I am so happy. I sometimes think that only insecure, fake people would say that but I am genuinely so content. I love every day, I laugh so much, I am surrounded by people I like. I am nearly euphoric. I feel like I am enjoying life. I am able to laugh and be positive. I don’t complain (as much) and I don’t feel nervous, anxious, or insecure. I feel genuine, I feel like myself.
But I am scared that this is circumstantial–a result of really good luck rather than one stemming from security and hope and confidence. I know I’m fragile and volatile, so I’m scared of change. I’m terrified and scarily enough I know exactly when the wind will turn. I am literally counting down the days until defeat. And trying to appreciate, enjoy, experience the love, happiness, comfort I feel now.

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