Today was SUCH a productive day. I am so proud of myself.
My computer charger broke. So, I have no laptop, no phone. I’m pretty sure the universe hates me. I actually don’t need my computer except I rashly saved the most updated copy of my poetry essay on there, so although I didn’t desperately need the 300 words in the new version, I kind of wanted it. I couldn’t find anyone with my computer within a reasonable time frame, so I decided to study with my sister today. I cannot even begin to describe how thankful I am to have my sister so close to me. I met her at her school and we just studied in her library together for 6 hours. Her school is crazy though and has so many security checkpoints if you want to use their wifi and my computer is very shoddy at the moment and for some reason it has trouble downloading and running a lot of programs. Thus, I had no wifi for 6 hours, I knew no people in the library, I had no phone, no source of distraction (except sleep). It was optimal studying conditions. I wrote nearly 2000 words and edited and cut 1000 words and made my poetry essay into a coherent piece! I wish I could be a little more proud of my essay but for some reason I am so unsatisfied with it. I mean, it is an essay, it makes a point, I think there are insightful parts. But I didn’t make a breakthrough. My best essays are always those in which I ponder a question that I genuinely have and I do not initially have the answer to. This essay was so easy for me to write though. So I’m really nervous that I won’t get a good grade. I have another paper to write tomorrow ~ 6 pages.
Oh, I originally started writing this post because I was really proud of myself for finishing layout for this journal on campus. It is a health journal and I have spent so many hours laying this thing out. Realistically, I think I have spent 15 hours. Maybe a little less. And I get distracted a lot. But there have been days when I sit in front of the computer for 4-6 hours at a time just laying things out.I got this position so on a whim but I’m so happy to be a part of this team and actually to have produced something tangible. I think I understand why my roommate knits so much.
Today started out as a bad day because I got rejected from something I wanted to do. Life if a popularity contest and I never win. I get reminders of this all the time. But I figure I have other advantages going for me aside from popularity and personality and social skills. Sadly, stuff like this is just really discouraging for me and it doesn’t make me feel motivated or anything.
ANYWAY, I had a really productive day and I’m proud of myself. hmph.