I have this condition called you’re a square and you’re too hard on yourself. See I’m doing it right now. I always make myself feel bad about myself even though it’s evident that I’m doing a fine and dandy job on this test called life. Maybe I should refer to life as a journey or agame. But it’s definitely not a game because that game sucks and sometimes you never get kids even when you want kids and sometimes you get so many kids that they can’t fit into the car and you can’t have a perfect life and perfect family evade one kid doesn’t even fit in the car! They make it seem like you have choice but you really don’t. Like how are you supposed to buy the Victorian or Dutch Colonial if you don’t become a doctor? And realistically how do you become a doctor if you don’t go to college? Because the ideal situation in that game is to skip college so that you don’t have to pay $100k and then you choose the doctor job. If you become a secretary, you have to live in a trailer and then you can’t live in millionaire estates when you retire. Then your life may suck from age 65-100.
Back to my too-hard-on-yourself issue, I’m just so bothered by my flaws, especially at night when I assess my day and realize that I accomplished nothing. I really want to stay up and be productive because I feel really motivated, but my energy level is too low and the consequences of staying up late are too grave. So I just sleep and then feel lazy again in the morning. How do I fix myself?!!!! What is wrong with you??!?!!
Case A
And this is the cycle. I get frustrated as I just did. Then, I end up yelling at myself a lot and when things get really heated and serious I start muttering at myself in Korean. See, I’m ready to be a mom.


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