Can I dedicate just one post to babies? I promise this isn’t going to be some kind of crazy I LOVE BABIESSSSSS thing, so take a moment to read and stop taking tallies.

This past weekend was Turkey Weekend which was really fun and relaxing. I really appreciate how some teachers value family, quality time, relaxing, vacation, etc and did not assign me unreasonable amounts of homework. All my work so far has been busy work, and although I don’t see the purpose of answering questions about the plot of a book, it’s not difficult, so I’m not complaining. 

I was a very lucky ducky during this turkey lurkey (lurker) weekend because my cousin came to my house with her two-year-old son who is the most precious kid. I don’t even know where to start. He is so friendly, and I am so shocked and disbelieving of calm, friendly babies because I was the most unfriendly baby/kid ever. I would not leave my mother’s arms and I cried whenever anyone approached me. Needless to say, I had no friends. I can’t recall my baby mind and baby personality, but I guess I was just scared of people and did not know how to socialize. I’ve gotten better. at least a little. Anyway, he was so easy to please. You just had to play with his toy cars with him and follow him around everywhere. Or turn on Pororo. Turn on Pororo and you made it to the top of his BFF list. Turn it off and you are evil incarnate. and he makes you feel bad about it too. His content and happy demeanor is so 1) calming, 2) self-gratifying, and 3) relieving, that when you see his cute dimples disappear and the wrinkles in between his eyes start to form and water in his eyes start to build up and his mouth take on some grotesque form, you can’t help but feel like you actually are some horrific excuse for a human being. Conclusion: Babies are manipulative. 

Nevertheless, he is such a good kid. I loved watching him slide down the stairs on his stomach and running around the living room intoxicated with laughter and giggles for no apparent reason. He marveled at actually everything including my neighbor’s dog and a balloon turkey on my neighbor’s lawn. There was this one time when we found a cricket in my basement and he kept calling it an ant. He was terrified and he looked absolutely distressed, but he kept on sneaking peeks at the cricket behind the lamp in my basement. He would look and then wimper a little and then look again. Finally, my little sister threw this tennis ball at the cricket and then it freaked out and started jumping everywhere. Naturally my sisters and I ran out of the basement like a serial killer was after us. The baby followed tumbling over the stairs, and he couldn’t stop saying that there was an ant in the basement. And from then on and for the next 5 minutes, he was afraid to go to the basement.

My sisters and I put him to sleep one night because he refused to go to sleep unless everyone, being my sisters and me, went to sleep with him. We all went into a room and turned off the lights and stayed silent for 30 minutes while he tossed and turned and giggled until he finally passed out. He climbed up and down all my stairs at least 100 times that day, so I don’t know how he was still hyper, but eventually he fell asleep. Can I just say that sleeping babies are so cute?

Getting to the real conclusion, wowza big surprise here, I realized that I am probably the worst candidate for a mom at this point. I know that babies are a lot of work meaning I won’t have time to do anything for myself, but that is seriously an understatement. This was an amazingly friendly and calm baby and he still took so much work to tend to. Imagine a baby like me as a baby. Props to mama kim. 

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