Today
I did not work on any supplements because I had so much homework and it’s imperative that I establish a healthy sleep schedule. I did go to mock interviews at my school today, so perhaps I’ll talk about that. Not to place blame elsewhere, but I honestly never learned how to have a proper conversation or interact with adults and actually I take the beginning of the sentence back. I blame my parents and I’m sure most second-gen immigrants (I’m actually first, but basically second) face the same plight. My wonderful parents did not do anything wrong, but they, Korean immigrants, naturally are not great conversationalists here in the land of the free. I’m fairly certain that children learn a great deal of social skills from observing their parents. I have learned to be respectful and polite but I have a really difficult time carrying out conversations and feeling comfortable around adults. To my best knowledge, the culture in Korea maintains formal relationships between children/teens and adults. Kids are not friends with adults in Korea. They don’t joke around and act casual around adults unless it’s a close family friend or family member.
I have this precocious and pugnacious cousin who from when she was a toddler would go up to random adults in public and start talking to them and asking them socially unacceptable questions. I thought it was cute and amusing, but her parents were so embarrassed and horrified by her behavior that they reprimanded her every time. Was this whole run off even tangentially related to anything?
Anyway, mock interviews went surprisingly well. I don’t mind talking and having interviews. I think they are rather interesting and fun, but omg my body goes into like panic flight mode. I can’t sit still and make eye contact and with a stranger adult for that long. I start twitching and I feel like all my bones are going to crumble. It’s an awful sensation. I don’t know why this happens but it must be fixed..
Also, as deadlines are approaching, everyone is obviously talking about college in school. It’s actually really fun and interesting to talk to different people about college. I realized why people say everyone gets closer senior year. It’s so easy to talk to anyone. You can talk about what to write for essays, pros and cons for each school, etc. Naturally there’s a lot of anxiety and doubt in the atmosphere so it’s comforting to get encouragement and advice from everyone, even people who you never really talked to all that much before.
This is probably a bad thing, but every time someone mentions a reputable r appealing college that I am not applying to, I have this overwhelming urge to apply. Within the last two weeks I have decided to apply to 4 more schools. This is a problem. I’m just getting nervous about rejection, so I feel the need to add more safety and reach schools. I might as well have a solid net. You never know how admissions offices will choose. May luck be on my side.

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